Ahoy-hoy to replace all greetings

Alexander Graham Bell's dying wish is going to come true for his native Scotland, if Scottish independence comes to fruition. Later this year Scots will decide whether to cecede from the United Kingdom, to become independent from the 'motherland' and the Queen of England. One way chosen to celebrate this future is to make all Scots use the term "Ahoy-hoy" to replace all other forms of greeting.

Scottish members of parliament have been debating the pros and cons of independence for the greater part of 500 years, but only in the last few decades has the promise of independence shown itself to be truly possible. If the law is passed, some MPs have wanted to do something extraordinary in order to separate the Scots and their southern neighbours.

"We posted a poll online to see what the best options were. Suggestions ranged from demanding a dram of whisky be drunk at least once a day, a sort of old-fashioned tribute to old Scottish gods. Another was that everyone should be forced to wear a kilt for the full year."

Alexander Graham Bell, inventor of the emtelephonic discombobulator, or 'telephone' as we now call it, once had a vision of greeting callers with the phrase "Ahoy-hoy!". On his death bed, Bell declared that it was his dream that everyone in the world would use his greeting in everyday scenarios. It was this dream that Scottish voters decided would be enacted, should the special event turn out in Scot's favour.