World Health Entertainment

Rap music causes ulcers

story image about causes and hatred You scream, I scream, we all scream when rap music is on
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A new study released today shows a 94% increase in the chances of developing ulcers for those subjected to random bouts of rap music. The study, conducted by a series of increasingly grumpy and relatively old white people, shows a distinct correlation between the growth of ulcers, both mouth and stomach, and the frequency of hearing short sharp bouts of rap music, usually streaming from a passing car.

98% of people interviewed said that their main source of listening to rap music was from strange cars, which, the study has suggested, should be given the title of Doppler Rap. 

"It's a scary statistic," said Mary Bell, head researcher for the study group. "I once had a stomach ulcer so big I swear I could see it if I opened my mouth real wide. That rap music is to blame is no real surprise, but at least it gives us a specific target to moan at."

Some, however, have questioned the approach of the researchers. Jenny McClue, researcher at SocialStatisticsGroupLtdInc told us:

"The problem with this study is that it's conducted by a group of people who conducted the research on themselves; and there is a strong bias towards finding the correlation in the first place because these guys hate rap music quite passionately - I found out that they're members of a Facebook group that opposes rap. In fact, I wouldn't be surprised if the ulcers they complain about are actually caused by their hatred and bile."

According to the original study, rap music now makes up 98% of all music produced around the world. They also suggest that making statistical claims not ranged in the upper ninety percents are not worth making.

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Comments

#1 @ 3 years ago
by square-match - Ghost

I've read almost everything on the internet and this is better than all of that. Good morning sunshine.

7 comments, registered 4 years ago
#2 @ 3 years ago
by Douglas Adams0 - Ghost

square-match wrote

I've read almost everything on the internet and this is better than all of that. Good morning sunshine.

THIS IS INCREDIBLY SUPER. HAVE A FEELING THIS SORT OF ITEM MIGHT JUST TAKE OVER MY ENTIRE LIFE.

3 comments, registered 4 years ago
#3 @ 3 years ago
by Mallard Fuel - Ghost

Douglas Adams0 wrote

square-match wrote

I've read almost everything on the internet and this is better than all of that. Good morning sunshine.

THIS IS INCREDIBLY SUPER. HAVE A FEELING THIS SORT OF ITEM MIGHT JUST TAKE OVER MY ENTIRE LIFE.

What a waste of everyone's time, effort and energy. :(.

2 comments, registered 3 years ago
#4 @ 3 years ago
by Douglas Adams0 - Ghost

Mallard Fuel wrote

Douglas Adams0 wrote

square-match wrote

I've read almost everything on the internet and this is better than all of that. Good morning sunshine.

THIS IS INCREDIBLY SUPER. HAVE A FEELING THIS SORT OF ITEM MIGHT JUST TAKE OVER MY ENTIRE LIFE.

What a waste of everyone's time, effort and energy. :(.

HOW STRANGE, I TOOK A DUMP LAST NIGHT AND IT LOOKED LIKE THIS.

:(

3 comments, registered 4 years ago
#5 @ 3 years ago
by WILLIAMDUKE7 - Quiet veteran

Mallard Fuel wrote

Douglas Adams0 wrote

square-match wrote

I've read almost everything on the internet and this is better than all of that. Good morning sunshine.

THIS IS INCREDIBLY SUPER. HAVE A FEELING THIS SORT OF ITEM MIGHT JUST TAKE OVER MY ENTIRE LIFE.

What a waste of everyone's time, effort and energy. :(.

this isn't just garbage, it's offensive garbage. you don't understand schadenfreude do you? i hope you get hit by a rampaging bull.

12 comments, registered 4 years ago
#6 @ 3 years ago
by RAGE AGAINST THE MACHINE - Ghost

Douglas Adams0 wrote

Mallard Fuel wrote

Douglas Adams0 wrote

square-match wrote

I've read almost everything on the internet and this is better than all of that. Good morning sunshine.

THIS IS INCREDIBLY SUPER. HAVE A FEELING THIS SORT OF ITEM MIGHT JUST TAKE OVER MY ENTIRE LIFE.

What a waste of everyone's time, effort and energy. :(.

HOW STRANGE, I TOOK A DUMP LAST NIGHT AND IT LOOKED LIKE THIS.

:(

you are doubtful. :(

2 comments, registered 4 years ago
#7 @ 3 years ago
by Mallard Fuel - Ghost

WILLIAMDUKE7 wrote

Mallard Fuel wrote

Douglas Adams0 wrote

square-match wrote

I've read almost everything on the internet and this is better than all of that. Good morning sunshine.

THIS IS INCREDIBLY SUPER. HAVE A FEELING THIS SORT OF ITEM MIGHT JUST TAKE OVER MY ENTIRE LIFE.

What a waste of everyone's time, effort and energy. :(.

this isn't just garbage, it's offensive garbage. you don't understand schadenfreude do you? i hope you get hit by a rampaging bull.

If I give you some money, will you go away?

2 comments, registered 3 years ago
#8 @ 3 years ago
by meal_drum - Ghost

Mallard Fuel wrote

WILLIAMDUKE7 wrote

Mallard Fuel wrote

Douglas Adams0 wrote

square-match wrote

I've read almost everything on the internet and this is better than all of that. Good morning sunshine.

THIS IS INCREDIBLY SUPER. HAVE A FEELING THIS SORT OF ITEM MIGHT JUST TAKE OVER MY ENTIRE LIFE.

What a waste of everyone's time, effort and energy. :(.

this isn't just garbage, it's offensive garbage. you don't understand schadenfreude do you? i hope you get hit by a rampaging bull.

If I give you some money, will you go away?

This is bollocks, and you should feel terrible. Ooops, wrong post!

4 comments, registered 4 years ago
#9 @ 3 years ago
by amelie - Quiet veteran

Mallard Fuel wrote

WILLIAMDUKE7 wrote

Mallard Fuel wrote

Douglas Adams0 wrote

square-match wrote

I've read almost everything on the internet and this is better than all of that. Good morning sunshine.

THIS IS INCREDIBLY SUPER. HAVE A FEELING THIS SORT OF ITEM MIGHT JUST TAKE OVER MY ENTIRE LIFE.

What a waste of everyone's time, effort and energy. :(.

this isn't just garbage, it's offensive garbage. you don't understand schadenfreude do you? i hope you get hit by a rampaging bull.

If I give you some money, will you go away?

I do not know. :)

18 comments, registered 4 years ago
#10 @ 3 years ago
by Kathryn_Robinson - Quiet veteran

meal_drum wrote

Mallard Fuel wrote

WILLIAMDUKE7 wrote

Mallard Fuel wrote

Douglas Adams0 wrote

square-match wrote

I've read almost everything on the internet and this is better than all of that. Good morning sunshine.

THIS IS INCREDIBLY SUPER. HAVE A FEELING THIS SORT OF ITEM MIGHT JUST TAKE OVER MY ENTIRE LIFE.

What a waste of everyone's time, effort and energy. :(.

this isn't just garbage, it's offensive garbage. you don't understand schadenfreude do you? i hope you get hit by a rampaging bull.

If I give you some money, will you go away?

This is bollocks, and you should feel terrible. Ooops, wrong post!

edited: sorry, silly post! solid

12 comments, registered 4 years ago
#11 @ 3 years ago
by k_cherry - Ghost

meal_drum wrote

Mallard Fuel wrote

WILLIAMDUKE7 wrote

Mallard Fuel wrote

Douglas Adams0 wrote

square-match wrote

I've read almost everything on the internet and this is better than all of that. Good morning sunshine.

THIS IS INCREDIBLY SUPER. HAVE A FEELING THIS SORT OF ITEM MIGHT JUST TAKE OVER MY ENTIRE LIFE.

What a waste of everyone's time, effort and energy. :(.

this isn't just garbage, it's offensive garbage. you don't understand schadenfreude do you? i hope you get hit by a rampaging bull.

If I give you some money, will you go away?

This is bollocks, and you should feel terrible. Ooops, wrong post!

Sure, why not. I'm not entirely sure I believe this.

2 comments, registered 3 years ago
#12 @ 3 years ago
by meat-octopus111 - Ghost

Kathryn_Robinson wrote

meal_drum wrote

Mallard Fuel wrote

WILLIAMDUKE7 wrote

Mallard Fuel wrote

Douglas Adams0 wrote

square-match wrote

I've read almost everything on the internet and this is better than all of that. Good morning sunshine.

THIS IS INCREDIBLY SUPER. HAVE A FEELING THIS SORT OF ITEM MIGHT JUST TAKE OVER MY ENTIRE LIFE.

What a waste of everyone's time, effort and energy. :(.

this isn't just garbage, it's offensive garbage. you don't understand schadenfreude do you? i hope you get hit by a rampaging bull.

If I give you some money, will you go away?

This is bollocks, and you should feel terrible. Ooops, wrong post!

edited: sorry, silly post! solid

MEH WITH MEH ON TOP. :)

6 comments, registered 4 years ago
#13 @ 3 years ago
by Jane Austen123 - Ghost

meat-octopus111 wrote

Kathryn_Robinson wrote

meal_drum wrote

Mallard Fuel wrote

WILLIAMDUKE7 wrote

Mallard Fuel wrote

Douglas Adams0 wrote

square-match wrote

I've read almost everything on the internet and this is better than all of that. Good morning sunshine.

THIS IS INCREDIBLY SUPER. HAVE A FEELING THIS SORT OF ITEM MIGHT JUST TAKE OVER MY ENTIRE LIFE.

What a waste of everyone's time, effort and energy. :(.

this isn't just garbage, it's offensive garbage. you don't understand schadenfreude do you? i hope you get hit by a rampaging bull.

If I give you some money, will you go away?

This is bollocks, and you should feel terrible. Ooops, wrong post!

edited: sorry, silly post! solid

MEH WITH MEH ON TOP. :)

come on, this is idiocy. don't fall for it; stop feeding the troll. this is complete poop.

6 comments, registered 4 years ago
#14 @ 3 years ago
by Boundary-Direction - Ghost

Jane Austen123 wrote

meat-octopus111 wrote

Kathryn_Robinson wrote

meal_drum wrote

Mallard Fuel wrote

WILLIAMDUKE7 wrote

Mallard Fuel wrote

Douglas Adams0 wrote

square-match wrote

I've read almost everything on the internet and this is better than all of that. Good morning sunshine.

THIS IS INCREDIBLY SUPER. HAVE A FEELING THIS SORT OF ITEM MIGHT JUST TAKE OVER MY ENTIRE LIFE.

What a waste of everyone's time, effort and energy. :(.

this isn't just garbage, it's offensive garbage. you don't understand schadenfreude do you? i hope you get hit by a rampaging bull.

If I give you some money, will you go away?

This is bollocks, and you should feel terrible. Ooops, wrong post!

edited: sorry, silly post! solid

MEH WITH MEH ON TOP. :)

come on, this is idiocy. don't fall for it; stop feeding the troll. this is complete poop.

this whole idea is stolen from elsewhere. i really strugle to stay calm when i read items like this. i and my friends are boycotting this site until this "writer" fucks off and dies.

5 comments, registered 4 years ago
#15 @ 3 years ago
by Hendricks-E - Quiet veteran

Douglas Adams0 wrote

square-match wrote

I've read almost everything on the internet and this is better than all of that. Good morning sunshine.

THIS IS INCREDIBLY SUPER. HAVE A FEELING THIS SORT OF ITEM MIGHT JUST TAKE OVER MY ENTIRE LIFE.

There is sum exquisite articles on this here interweb, but this is so amusing. :)

12 comments, registered 3 years ago
#16 @ 3 years ago
by quail_spoon - Ghost

Mallard Fuel wrote

WILLIAMDUKE7 wrote

Mallard Fuel wrote

Douglas Adams0 wrote

square-match wrote

I've read almost everything on the internet and this is better than all of that. Good morning sunshine.

THIS IS INCREDIBLY SUPER. HAVE A FEELING THIS SORT OF ITEM MIGHT JUST TAKE OVER MY ENTIRE LIFE.

What a waste of everyone's time, effort and energy. :(.

this isn't just garbage, it's offensive garbage. you don't understand schadenfreude do you? i hope you get hit by a rampaging bull.

If I give you some money, will you go away?

I might think about this l8r when m doing something else. But I might not.

2 comments, registered 3 years ago

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