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Scotland demands independence from the world

story image about independence and scotland The brave, the true, the Scots
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Scottish's First Minister Alex Salmond has today declared his intention to start fighting for a "wholly independent Scotland; free from the UK; free from Europe; and free from the rest of the world!". Salmond's claim comes less than a month before Scotland puts their Yes or No to a referendum on whether the country should abscond from the UK and set up shop all by itself.

"Only by seceding from all boundaries, alliances and unions can Scotland ever be truly independent. What if, years from now, aliens come and visit Earth. What will we do? Will we wait around while the United States and Russia have a long talk with Johnny Alien, and Scotland has to sit on the kid's table throwing curly-fries at the French? No - we say that Scotland must be recognised as an entirely sovereign and individual state. Nothing will be good enough for this Scotland!"

Salmond's views are ally to a number of states around the globe, including Iran and North Korea. Some, however, disagree with the first miniter's take on full Scottish independence. Leader of the pro-Union Better Together campaign, Alistair Darling, took issue with the declaration:

"It's poppycock. Mr Salmond has egg on his face from a series of live debates that have not gone his way. Without the world at his side, Scotland will be in no position to guarantee alien trade, nor will it necessarily be able to procure lucrative technology trades if it is not allied with a more substantial existing superpower. Once again the first minister has proven his lack of experience is likely to be his own undoing, but hopefully not our country's."

The Yes campaign currently show a slight lead in the vote for Scotland's independence, though exit polls are, of course, utter nonsense.





The funny news item you've just read is FICTITIOUS. Any resemblance to persons, living or dead, is entirely coincidental or is intended purely as a satire, parody or spoof.

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Comments

#1 @ 10 years ago
by dillonkidd - Ghost

I doubt this is true. Sure, why not. :)

10 comments, registered 11 years ago
#2 @ 10 years ago
by CREATOR-OX7 - Ghost

Come on, this is nonsense. Do not fall for it; stop feeding the troll. If I give you many money, will you go away? :(.

2 comments, registered 11 years ago
#3 @ 10 years ago
by CarlCarey62 - Ghost

Meh with meh on top. Oh boy...

2 comments, registered 11 years ago
#4 @ 10 years ago
by wolverinebreath7 - Ghost

CarlCarey62 wrote

Meh with meh on top. Oh boy...

Effective write up, but marred by superficial errors that make the majority of it barely readable. I'm surprised more hasn't been made of how nasty this is.

4 comments, registered 11 years ago
#5 @ 10 years ago
by ABARAJAS7 - Ghost

CREATOR-OX7 wrote

Come on, this is nonsense. Do not fall for it; stop feeding the troll. If I give you many money, will you go away? :(.

As a gardener... this is the most lovelyest thing I've ever seen.

9 comments, registered 11 years ago
#6 @ 10 years ago
by GretaHendrix - Ghost

ABARAJAS7 wrote

CREATOR-OX7 wrote

Come on, this is nonsense. Do not fall for it; stop feeding the troll. If I give you many money, will you go away? :(.

As a gardener... this is the most lovelyest thing I've ever seen.

Great - another peice of toss I'll think is cool now, but will forget in 5 minutes time.

3 comments, registered 11 years ago
#7 @ 10 years ago
by ethelbonilla13 - Ghost

GretaHendrix wrote

ABARAJAS7 wrote

CREATOR-OX7 wrote

Come on, this is nonsense. Do not fall for it; stop feeding the troll. If I give you many money, will you go away? :(.

As a gardener... this is the most lovelyest thing I've ever seen.

Great - another peice of toss I'll think is cool now, but will forget in 5 minutes time.

i think i've read plenty of horrendously stupid pieces of work crawling arund but this makes me throw up. edited: sorry, wrong post!

5 comments, registered 11 years ago
#8 @ 10 years ago
by TUPAC SHAKUR - One-off wonder

dillonkidd wrote

I doubt this is true. Sure, why not. :)

There's no way this could be true. Not sure about this one.

1 comment, registered 11 years ago
#9 @ 10 years ago
by elephant_music - Ghost

wolverinebreath7 wrote

CarlCarey62 wrote

Meh with meh on top. Oh boy...

Effective write up, but marred by superficial errors that make the majority of it barely readable. I'm surprised more hasn't been made of how nasty this is.

Why does this not seem to bother anyone else? Stop feeding the troll.

3 comments, registered 10 years ago

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