World Sport

Unusual Olympic Developments

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The Olympic Games in Rio is less than two months away so here is a little rundown on how some countries are going about their Olympic preparations.

Four years after they sent their first female athlete to an Olympic Games, Saudi Arabia is planning to send their first ever synchronized swimming team to Rio. The team, which is trained by former Russian team coach, Svetlana Musakova, is said to be hard at work preparing for the event. Speaking to The Sports Times, Ms. Musakova said, 'well baysed on wot I see so far, dese team ees fool of good potential.' 'Don't be sorprised eef dey ween gold.' Asked if she thinks that the Saudi women can seriously challenge the more traditional powerhouses in the sport like Spain, Japan or even her native Russia, Ms. Musakova responded, 'deedn't you hear wot I said a while ago?'

The Caribbean Community (Caricom) says that in order to seriously challenge the Americans in Rio, they will be sending one team to represent the region at the Olympics similar to the Unified Team which participated in Barcelona '92 following the collapse of the Soviet Union. The team however will consist of ninety percent Jamaicans, with the other ten percent being from Trinidad & Tobago and Grenada. The reason they gave for the disproportionate amount of Jamaicans as opposed to the other nationalities of athletes, is that Jamaican athletes are typically better at sports than the other Caricom countries. Usain Bolt will carry the Caricom flag at the opening ceremony. There is still contention though about which song to play as the official anthem if a Caricom athlete wins gold. While the Trinidad & Tobago athletes want David Rudder's Rally 'Round the West Indies as the anthem, the Jamaicans are adamant that Bob Marley's One Love be played at the victory ceremonies. The point they tried to make to Caricom is that Marley is far more popular than Rudder. This did not sit too well with the Trinidad & Tobago faction who took it as an insult.

Finally, in order to dispel the notion that their country is homophobic, the Russian Olympic Committee announced that they will be sending their first openly gay wrestlers to Rio as long as Russia is given the all-clear to compete. President of the Committee, Alexander Zhukov, in an interview with Kremlin Today, one of the few English language newspapers in Russia, said, 'we Russians are not homophobic at all.' 'We accept everybody regardless of creed, race, religion or sexual orientation.' 'It is the Western media who love to spread propaganda about the Russian people.' Mr. Zhukov further went on to explain though, that when the Russian National Championships are held on July 9th to choose the wrestlers who will represent Team Russia at the Olympics, gays will not be allowed to wrestle with straight wrestlers so as to not make the latter feel uncomfortable. The gay wrestlers will fight against each other in all the weight divisions.

The funny news item you've just read is FICTITIOUS. Any resemblance to persons, living or dead, is entirely coincidental or is intended purely as a satire, parody or spoof.

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#1 @ 8 years ago
by Kathryn_Robinson - Quiet veteran

i just don't like this kind of thing, and it very much bugs me that everyone else thinks it's ok. :

12 comments, registered 10 years ago
#2 @ 8 years ago
by jaguar-answer - Ghost

Kathryn_Robinson wrote

i just don't like this kind of thing, and it very much bugs me that everyone else thinks it's ok. :

What the fuck? Nothing will stop me reading more on laughs end, but ths came close.

4 comments, registered 9 years ago

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