UK News Politics

Queen makes plea for "common ground" in a thinly-veiled plea for common ground.

story image about common and common ground
5 comment(s)
Report story

Her Majesty the Queen, the longest-reigning British monarch, made a plea for Britons to find "common ground".

Royal correspondent, Birdy Twitcher, said there was no doubt the Queen was sending a message to dumb ass MPs to get their fingers out over the Brexit debate.

As Head of State, the Queen is supposed to be politically neutral so the consensus of uninformed opinion is that she was referring to finding more common ground where she and her family could hunt, shoot, and perfect their driving skills.

The Queen added that Sandringham Castle Estate of around 20,000 acres is barely large enough to support more than one activity at a time. "When one is shooting and the other one is driving," she said, "There's every chance one could knock one over - unless one shoots the old bugger first!"

A palace spokesperson said: "You should try living in Norfolk for a month, mate. You'll go mental. I'm also worried for my personal safety with so many guns and cars around.

"We have been looking to move Sandringham to somewhere more amenable hence the plea for some common ground we could move it to, but after the palace restoration project, public opinion is against further expenditure.

"We're hoping the Harry and Meghan effect - or the Haz and Maz Raz as we say - will boost the royal coffers - and then maybe they'll pay me danger money."

The spokesperson, who declined to be named, asked if we wanted to buy a Royal ashtray. We politely refused, made our excuses and left.





The funny news item you've just read is FICTITIOUS. Any resemblance to persons, living or dead, is entirely coincidental or is intended purely as a satire, parody or spoof.

Headlines like this

thumbnail for item Fusball

Playground games banned

World Sport 0

Governments around the world have today been urged by concerned parenting groups to place a complete ban on all playground games and activities. Parents Against Pretty Much Everything...

read more
10 years ago
thumbnail for item Urgent delivery

Brit MPs soft on Pfizer's AstraZeneca takeover

UK News Politics 0

British MPs have today been accused of being "soft" on Pfizer's proposed AstraZeneca takeover. During questioning, one MP asked one Pfizer representative whether he was "happy",...

read more
10 years ago

Comments

#1 @ 5 years ago
by swing_stop1984 - Ghost

* SHRUGS *.

5 comments, registered 8 years ago
#2 @ 5 years ago
by slave_bears - Quiet veteran

swing_stop1984 wrote

* SHRUGS *.

Not sure about this one.

17 comments, registered 9 years ago
#3 @ 5 years ago
by lip_voice - Ghost

slave_bears wrote

swing_stop1984 wrote

* SHRUGS *.

Not sure about this one.

HOW LAUGH-OUT-LOUD. EDITED: SORRY, WRONG POST!

:)

5 comments, registered 10 years ago
#4 @ 5 years ago
by clam-baboon - Ghost

People claim to have died for our sins. I believe that's relevant somehow. Yeah, whatever. :)

3 comments, registered 7 years ago
#5 @ 5 years ago
by E-Vang - Ghost

Garbage.

4 comments, registered 8 years ago

To add a comment you must first sign up and login.


Gemini horoscope

When ending a letter today, remember to append 'xxx' to the end, especially if your letter is formal. Today is another......

Full horoscope

More from Laughsend

thumbnail for Celine Dion news story Titanic Wreck Scanned, Celine Dion Weeps With Envy thumbnail for Bush news story George W Bush to Take Over as the New Host of The Price is Right and Finally Find the Weapons of Mass Destruction
Funny RSS feed