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Rolf Harris, King of Nonce Wobble Boarders, Proves He Can Also Fly on It

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In a shocking turn of events, disgraced singer and media personality Rolf Harris has escaped his prison sentence by using his trusty wobble board to take to the skies.

The news of Harris' escape has sent shockwaves across the nation, with many expressing fear and disgust at the thought of a convicted nonce flying free.

"I always knew there was something suspicious about that wobble board," commented one concerned citizen. "But I never thought he'd use it to escape prison!"

Known for his iconic catchphrase "Can you tell what it is yet?", Harris has long been a figure of ridicule for his eccentric behavior and alleged deviancy.

However, despite his questionable character, it seems that even the public can't help but marvel at his unlikely escape.

"I always thought he was a bit of a creep," admitted one passerby. "And I give him zero credit for his ingenuity. Who knew a wobble board could double as a flying device? Only someone who's spent a few years locked away for being a disgusting waste of flesh."

As for Harris himself, he is reportedly on the run and could be anywhere in the world by now.

But one thing is for sure: wherever he goes, the wobble board will be close at hand.

As he famously said, "Tie me kangaroo down, sport... and pass me that wobble board! Mm. Smells like teen spirit."

The funny news item you've just read is FICTITIOUS. Any resemblance to persons, living or dead, is entirely coincidental or is intended purely as a satire, parody or spoof.

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