UK News Politics

Teacher crisis! "Our children aren't getting no education!" claims Minister for Education.

story image about education and getting no
2 comment(s)
Report story

In an attempt to plug the 'teacher gap', the gap between the number of teachers we need and the number of teachers we have, the UK government is trialling a radical scheme to actually pay teachers for staying in the classroom.

A spokesperson for the Department for Education said: "We think paying teachers will encourage them to go into school and teach."

A spokesperson for the National Union of Teachers welcomed the government's proposal and said: "Paying teachers may result in more of them."

A secondary school teacher who declined to be named, said: "We work seven days a week including evenings and holidays, marking and preparing lessons. And for what?"

A trainee teacher who met us behind the bike sheds confessed: "I come here just to, you know, look at the school. I'd love to, you know, just go in and teach but I know I'd get sucked in and before you know it I'd be like, you know, just teaching all the time." He drew heavily on his sweet-smelling cigarette and slunk away.

The Shadow Education Secretary said: "Paying teachers is the thin end of the wedge. If the government starts paying teachers, everyone will expect to b paid " nurses firemen, even the police who we know are only in it for the violence and fast cars. It'll be the end of social order, mark my words, the revolution is coming! Man the barricades!" Her carer gently lead her away.





The funny news item you've just read is FICTITIOUS. Any resemblance to persons, living or dead, is entirely coincidental or is intended purely as a satire, parody or spoof.

Headlines like this

thumbnail for item Satire news website

Made up news made me feel made up, claims scouser

World 0

A woman from Liverpool, UK, has today claimed that fake news websites like Laughsend help get her through difficult days. Valerie Dawkins, 42, has long since extolled the virtues...

read more
9 years ago

Comments

#1 @ 5 years ago
by ABARAJAS7 - Ghost

I can't explain how I'm feelin... :(.

9 comments, registered 10 years ago
#2 @ 5 years ago
by Richard D. Marlowe, Ph.D. - Writer

Now listen here you little dickwad's... I'm convinced that items like this are made just to rile peole and wind them up.

1 comment, registered 7 years ago

To add a comment you must first sign up and login.


Virgo horoscope

Someone will approach you today with an attitude you cannot get on with at all. Don't shun your naked body, express......

Full horoscope

More from Laughsend

thumbnail for Celine Dion news story Titanic Wreck Scanned, Celine Dion Weeps With Envy thumbnail for Bush news story George W Bush to Take Over as the New Host of The Price is Right and Finally Find the Weapons of Mass Destruction
Funny RSS feed