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Celebrity shocker: Tom Hanks not always smiling and occasionally riddled by "emotion"

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Tom Hanks, America's favorite actor and all-around nice guy, shocked the world today by admitting that he's not always as wholesome as he seems. In an exclusive, Hanks revealed that he has a "dark side" that he keeps hidden from the public.

"I know people think of me as this lovable, harmless guy, but I've got a few skeletons in my closet," Hanks confessed. "Sometimes I kick puppies for fun, and I have a collection of voodoo dolls that I use to curse my enemies."

Needless to say, the revelation has sent shockwaves through the entertainment industry and beyond. Fans who have long idolized Hanks as the embodiment of kindness and decency are now left questioning everything they thought they knew about him.

"I can't believe it," said one fan on Twitter. "Tom Hanks is supposed to be the one good thing in this world."

Others were more forgiving of Hanks' dark side, with some even finding it refreshing.

"I always knew there was something edgy about Tom Hanks," said one film critic. "I mean, look at his haircut in the '80s. That was pretty punk rock."

Despite the mixed reactions, Hanks is unapologetic about his propensity for mischief and mayhem.

"I'm not always Mr. Nice Guy," he said. "But isn't it more interesting that way?"

Hanks' admission has also resulted in a new wave of catchphrases and memes among his fans. "Tom Hanks: America's Sweetheart... with a dark heart," reads one popular tweet. Others have taken to calling him "Tom Pranks" in honor of his mischievous streak.

As for Hanks himself, he remains undaunted. In fact, he's already planning a new project that will showcase his darker side.

"I'm in talks to play a serial killer in my next movie," he revealed. "It'll be a great opportunity to explore my dark side and really stretch myself as an actor."

Only time will tell how the public will react to Hanks' new image. But one thing is for sure: he's no longer just America's Nice Guy. He's America's Bad Boy, and he's here to shake things up.

The funny news item you've just read is FICTITIOUS. Any resemblance to persons, living or dead, is entirely coincidental or is intended purely as a satire, parody or spoof.

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