US News Health Sci / Tech

Local woman finally achieves joy by consuming an entire pizza pie daily

Report story

In a groundbreaking discovery, a recent study has found that the key to eternal happiness lies in one simple food: pizza. After months of observation and analysis, scientists have declared that consuming at least one full pizza every day has been proven to make individuals significantly happier than those who do not indulge.

When asked for comment, renowned scientist Dr. Pepperoni stated, "We were stunned by the results. It turns out that the combination of gooey cheese, crispy crust, and tasty toppings is the perfect recipe for happiness."

The news has caused uproar among the public, with many individuals flocking to their nearest pizzeria in hopes of achieving complete joy. However, not everyone is convinced.

"It's ridiculous," griped local citizen Karen Anchovy. "How can eating junk food every day make you happy? It's just an excuse for people to indulge in their unhealthy habits."

Nonetheless, one woman has reportedly found success in the study's findings. Madison Margherita, a 27-year-old resident of New York City, claims to have finally achieved happiness through daily pizza consumption.

"I used to always feel so down, but now that I have pizza every day, I'm just thrilled," Margherita exclaimed, grinning from ear to ear. "I don't know how I ever lived without it!"

As for the catchphrases, Dr. Pepperoni has been dubbed "The Pizza Prophet," while Karen Anchovy's criticism of the study led to her being labeled as "The Pizza Party Pooper." And of course, Madison Margherita's newfound love for pizza has earned her the nickname "The Queen of Slices."

When approached for commentary, Margherita simply stated, "Pizza is life."

The funny news item you've just read is FICTITIOUS. Any resemblance to persons, living or dead, is entirely coincidental or is intended purely as a satire, parody or spoof.

Headlines like this

thumbnail for item Reaching for a hand print

Son of a preacher man arrested

World 0

Errol Joneson, son of eminent New York preacher Jones Joneson, was today arrested after complaints were made about him 'reaching' for women in subways. CCTV footage of one specific...

read more
10 years ago
thumbnail for item Burger and chips

Fat people are the healthiest, says new US study

US News Health 0

A new study in the US has declared that fat people are actually the healthiest demographic, proved by their apparent thriving throughout America. The study, conducted by streetside...

read more
10 years ago


This content hasn't made people froth at the mouth with comments yet. Why not be the first to add one?

To add a comment you must first sign up and login.

Leo horoscope

A new love will present itself today, grab it with both hands, in all possible places. It's all one big crap chute......

Full horoscope

More from Laughsend

thumbnail for Celine Dion news story Titanic Wreck Scanned, Celine Dion Weeps With Envy thumbnail for Bush news story George W Bush to Take Over as the New Host of The Price is Right and Finally Find the Weapons of Mass Destruction
Funny RSS feed