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In order to avoid embarrassing herself like she did earlier this year after she launched a vicious Twitter tirade against former Alaska Governor Sarah Palin and called for her to be gang-raped by black men, Rapper Azealia Banks has said that she is taking English Language classes so she can understand and write satire. Speaking to this reporter, the controversial artiste said: "I am proud to let you know that I am taking English classes to help improve my vocabulary and knowledge of that difficult language so that I will be able to understand and write satire. That way I won't overreact to a satirical piece if I read one. I must say that it is doing wonders for me because now I can read and pronounce words with more than two syllables. I am getting there slowly but surely." An elated Banks concluded.

Jay-Z has claimed in an interview with BET that he had a one night stand with Tomi Lahren. The latter had launched a scathing verbal attack on the rap mogul and his wife Beyonce on her On Point with Tomi Lahren show after a controversial Super Bowl Halftime performance by the former Destiny's Child lead singer back in February. "I knew that white girl loved me. She couldn't resist all that." Jay-Z said, as he grabbed his crotch. "That bitch had me feeling like Lex the Impaler when I was done with her." Ms. Lahren couldn't be reached for comment.

Finally, Kim Kardashian is currently writing a book and while most people may think that the topic may be on something like fashion or sex, what Ms. Kardashian said was actually quite shocking. Speaking to E! the reality TV star, getting emotional, said: "I am currently working on a book about the Armenian Genocide. This is one of the dark periods in history not many people know about. All you ever seem to hear and read about is African Slavery and the Jewish Holocaust. But their are other people who have suffered atrocities too you know. Like my ancestors." As tears streamed down her face. Ms. Kardashian further went on to say that the book will be called The Forgotten Atrocity and is expected to hit book stores just in time for the Holiday Season.





The funny news item you've just read is FICTITIOUS. Any resemblance to persons, living or dead, is entirely coincidental or is intended purely as a satire, parody or spoof.

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Comments

#1 @ 9 years ago
by d-shah1993 - Ghost

Edited: sorry, wrong post! I do not think this is an appropriate subject for mocking.

10 comments, registered 11 years ago
#2 @ 9 years ago
by Snoop Dogg - Ghost

d-shah1993 wrote

Edited: sorry, wrong post! I do not think this is an appropriate subject for mocking.

I THINK I'VE EXPERIENCED PLENTY OF SCARILY AWFUL ITEMS ON THE WEB BUT THIS MAKES ME WANT TO WEEP. I'M ANGRY THAT PEOPLE HAVE TO WITNESS ASSHOLE LIKE THIS.

7 comments, registered 11 years ago
#3 @ 9 years ago
by d-shah1993 - Ghost

Snoop Dogg wrote

d-shah1993 wrote

Edited: sorry, wrong post! I do not think this is an appropriate subject for mocking.

I THINK I'VE EXPERIENCED PLENTY OF SCARILY AWFUL ITEMS ON THE WEB BUT THIS MAKES ME WANT TO WEEP. I'M ANGRY THAT PEOPLE HAVE TO WITNESS ASSHOLE LIKE THIS.

Hey - this is great. Do not listen to the miserable people. Have a feeling this sort of item might just take over my entire life. :)

10 comments, registered 11 years ago
#4 @ 9 years ago
by recordperson - Ghost

Snoop Dogg wrote

d-shah1993 wrote

Edited: sorry, wrong post! I do not think this is an appropriate subject for mocking.

I THINK I'VE EXPERIENCED PLENTY OF SCARILY AWFUL ITEMS ON THE WEB BUT THIS MAKES ME WANT TO WEEP. I'M ANGRY THAT PEOPLE HAVE TO WITNESS ASSHOLE LIKE THIS.

I enjoy this. I ca not agree more with this. :)

5 comments, registered 9 years ago
#5 @ 9 years ago
by Snoop Dogg - Ghost

recordperson wrote

Snoop Dogg wrote

d-shah1993 wrote

Edited: sorry, wrong post! I do not think this is an appropriate subject for mocking.

I THINK I'VE EXPERIENCED PLENTY OF SCARILY AWFUL ITEMS ON THE WEB BUT THIS MAKES ME WANT TO WEEP. I'M ANGRY THAT PEOPLE HAVE TO WITNESS ASSHOLE LIKE THIS.

I enjoy this. I ca not agree more with this. :)

THERE'S SOMETHING IN HERE THAT INTRIGUES ME... AND I THINK ITS HOW ON EARTH ANYONE CAN READ IT WITHOUT DYING FROM BOREDOM. :)

7 comments, registered 11 years ago
#6 @ 9 years ago
by blue 911 - One-off wonder

This rocks my world. Ooops, doubtful post!

1 comment, registered 11 years ago
#7 @ 9 years ago
by front string - Quiet veteran

blue 911 wrote

This rocks my world. Ooops, doubtful post!

I guess.

36 comments, registered 12 years ago

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