US News Politics

US President Joe Biden has announced that he will seek re-election for the presidency in 2024

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Citing his beloved love for the job and his desire to continue the important work he has started, Joe Biden has announced that he will seek re-election for the presidency in 2024. However, UK fans of the current trend of celebrities seeking political office were left disappointed when it was revealed that they won't be getting a taste of the action anytime soon.

"I mean, I was really hoping for a Kardashian Prime Minister or maybe a Doctor Who MP. This is just not giving the people what we want," said avid reality TV fan and self-proclaimed amateur political analyst, Helen Robinson.

The disappointment was felt throughout the country as people expressed their longing for someone as glamorous and successful as Kim Kardashian to lead them to a brighter future.

"Kim would have been the perfect candidate! She's strong, she's smart, and she's already got a massive following on social media. Who needs policies when you've got a Kardashian in office?" said fan and social media influencer, Chelsea Haydon.

It's not just the Kardashian clan that was eyed as potential political players. Rumours had been rife that Harry Styles would be putting his trendy suit collection to good use, while Piers Morgan's controversial commentary had some hopeful that he would make a move into politics.

But alas, it seems that the dream of celebrity political power will have to be put on hold. "Honestly, I don't know what to do with my life now. I was hoping the next election would at least have one celebrity throwing their hat in the ring," said disillusioned fan and avid celebrity gossip reader, John Cooper.

With no end to this uplifting trend in sight, it seems that ordinary people will just have to make do with boring old politicians in suits. Oh well, at least there's always the promise of a scandal or two to keep things interesting.

"It's just like when you're watching Love Island and everyone's coupled up and everything's a bit boring, then suddenly there's a massive argument or someone's cheating. That's what we need in politics. Drama!" said fan and social commentator, Rachel Bates.

Until then, we'll just have to content ourselves with watching our celebrities bicker and fight their way through "I'm A Celebrity...Get Me Out Of Here" and "Dancing on Ice." After all, isn't that what politics is all about?

As comedian and political commentator, Russell Brand, once said, "Politics is just show business for ugly people." So if that's the case, why not let the beautiful people have a go?

As a final word on the matter, Piers Morgan himself issued a statement: "I'm flattered that people think I should run for office. But let's face it, I'm much better suited for the much more important role of pontificating from the sidelines on Twitter."

The funny news item you've just read is FICTITIOUS. Any resemblance to persons, living or dead, is entirely coincidental or is intended purely as a satire, parody or spoof.

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