Justin Bieber today announced he plans to quit the music industry and begin a new career as a MMA fighter.
Spurred on by his latest bout against 9ft5 giant (fan) Lamont Richmond outside the Westin hotel in Cleveland - which he WILL count as a win on the record sheet - the former singer has teamed up with notorious boxing manager Don Viceroy, who sees great potential in the former heartthrob. “I’m tellin ya this kid got what it takes to make it in the cage. He can spit, he can cry for mercy and he’s pure genius when it comes to dick-punches.” said the heavily bejeweled gentleman.
Justin Bieber himself beliebe the way to the top will be a walk in the park - and if you ever took a late night stroll through Central park - you know he could be right. “I’m already the world champion of music and now I want to be the same in sports.” proclaimed a self-confident Bieber and he even went so far as to reveal the strategy he’ll apply to get there. “It’s all down to getting the combinations and the timing right.” he said and offered the eye-rolling press-core a demonstration. “Dick-punch - dick-punch - throat-punch.” he shouted while floating around like a barfly.
Justin Bieber’s first fight will be on June 29th, where he will face the 4ft5 wheelchair-bound Venezuelan Maria the Veg Alvarez.