Surgeons at the George W Bush Memory Memorial Hospital have claimed a medical breakthrough by transplanting common sense into US President Donald Trump.
After the operation, which lasted over 35 days, a spokesperson for the surgeons, who did not want to be named ("Why do you think we wear masks?" he added), said the operation had been one of the most difficult ever performed. "It was a team effort," he said. "We take a democratic approach which we find is more productive and leads to better results than one person making all the decisions."
When asked why the operation too so long, he said: "We had to battle a whole series of congenital afflictions including stubbornness, egotism, ignorance, stupidity and arrogance. We attempted extraction through the rectum but that was too big a job. We managed to push the infections to one side long enough to inject a small measure of common sense. It took 35 days for it to take hold.
"It's a fantastic result and a first for science. However, it's only a temporary solution and the effects are likely to reappear if the patient can't get his own way and throws another tantrum."
When asked what other ground-breaking techniques the team had planned, the spokesperson said: "Now we have proof of concept, the next step is to distil the process into a serum that can be injected into all politicians. But don't hold your breath for that one!"