Media-convicted UK tax dodgers are set to undergo a new form of trial this year as the criminal justice system tests a new form of crime prevention concept: reality TV dodgeball. In a brief statement released on Facebook by Judge MC Michaels, we have learned that any celebrity who the media arbitrarily decide has committed tax dodging in the UK, including Gary Barlow, Jimmy Carr and Chris Moyles, will be set to face an "it's-a-knockout-cum-total-wipeout" type experience, with DodgeBall UK, an ESPN Ocho cross Atlantic exclusive.
"We're excited," claimed Executive Producer Donald Rumsfeld (no relation). "We think this could be the turning point in light entertainment. Dodgeball - it's the sport of kings."
When queried as to what 'turning point' referred to, the static on the phone line became unbearable, but we assumed he said something amusing, like, he was talking about the "turning off point".
At this point it's unclear as to whether the likes of Barlow, Carr and Moyles will be forced to attend the dodgeball showdown of the century, and it is equally unclear whether they will be forced to wear spandex for our viewing pleasure. However, it is certain that the Crown Prosecution Service have more whacky ideas up their sleeve. The honourable MC Michaels continued in her Facebook page:
"We want to see them being strung up by their gonads. We want to see people being branded, literally red-hot-metal branded, with the word 'thief', onto their foreheads. We want to know what black pudding tastes like if we use celebrity blood. Peace out."