UK News Business Entertainment

Tax cheats set to dodge, duck, dip, dive and dodge, in new reality television dodgeball show

story image about dodge and duck You can't dodge my balls
Report story

Media-convicted UK tax dodgers are set to undergo a new form of trial this year as the criminal justice system tests a new form of crime prevention concept: reality TV dodgeball. In a brief statement released on Facebook by Judge MC Michaels, we have learned that any celebrity who the media arbitrarily decide has committed tax dodging in the UK, including Gary Barlow, Jimmy Carr and Chris Moyles, will be set to face an "it's-a-knockout-cum-total-wipeout" type experience, with DodgeBall UK, an ESPN Ocho cross Atlantic exclusive.

"We're excited," claimed Executive Producer Donald Rumsfeld (no relation). "We think this could be the turning point in light entertainment. Dodgeball - it's the sport of kings."

When queried as to what 'turning point' referred to, the static on the phone line became unbearable, but we assumed he said something amusing, like, he was talking about the "turning off point".

At this point it's unclear as to whether the likes of Barlow, Carr and Moyles will be forced to attend the dodgeball showdown of the century, and it is equally unclear whether they will be forced to wear spandex for our viewing pleasure. However, it is certain that the Crown Prosecution Service have more whacky ideas up their sleeve. The honourable MC Michaels continued in her Facebook page:

"We want to see them being strung up by their gonads. We want to see people being branded, literally red-hot-metal branded, with the word 'thief', onto their foreheads. We want to know what black pudding tastes like if we use celebrity blood. Peace out."





The funny news item you've just read is FICTITIOUS. Any resemblance to persons, living or dead, is entirely coincidental or is intended purely as a satire, parody or spoof.

Headlines like this

thumbnail for item Dodgems or bumper car

Bumper-car fatalities up 187% in 2014

World Sport 0

The latest Office for Global Statistics figures show a disturbing rise in the number of global bumper-car fatalities. Bumper-cars, also sometimes known as dodgems, are responsible...

read more
10 years ago
thumbnail for item Dodgeball banned

Dodgeball banned! All sports teachers fired

World Sport 31

All sports teachers around the globe have today been fired, or "sacked", for forcing their pupils to play rough forms of dodgeball. The MPAARSVP (the body which governs such things)...

read more
11 years ago

Comments

#1 @ 9 years ago
by sheet-bird153 - Ghost

whatevr? adequate.

2 comments, registered 9 years ago
#2 @ 9 years ago
by slumdog millionaire0 - Ghost

sheet-bird153 wrote

whatevr? adequate.

There is nothing more offputting than people spouting about items they clearly know nothing about. I didn't see this because it neither offended nor excited me. I also make obvious comment's in real life.

8 comments, registered 9 years ago
#3 @ 9 years ago
by AntsBarracuda - Quiet veteran

sheet-bird153 wrote

whatevr? adequate.

Edited: sorry, wrong post!

12 comments, registered 11 years ago
#4 @ 9 years ago
by Fred Kidd-Dunlap999 - Ghost

There are a plethora of amazing stuff crawling around - and this makes me need to cry. This is the most effectiveest piece of work I have ever seen online.

7 comments, registered 9 years ago
#5 @ 9 years ago
by IncreaseJewel - One-off wonder

Poop. Effective write up, but marred by superficial errors that make the majority of it barely readable.

1 comment, registered 10 years ago
#6 @ 9 years ago
by d-woodward-mooney777 - Ghost

There's something in here that intrigues me... and I think it's how on earth anyone can read it without dying from boredom.

5 comments, registered 9 years ago
#7 @ 9 years ago
by Appliance Weasel1989 - Ghost

I just do not like this kind of thing, and it really bugs me that everyone else thinks it's o.

3 comments, registered 9 years ago
#8 @ 9 years ago
by stingray-apple - Ghost

Appliance Weasel1989 wrote

I just do not like this kind of thing, and it really bugs me that everyone else thinks it's o.

I ENJOY THIS.

4 comments, registered 9 years ago
#9 @ 9 years ago
by chin clocks - Ghost

slumdog millionaire0 wrote

sheet-bird153 wrote

whatevr? adequate.

There is nothing more offputting than people spouting about items they clearly know nothing about. I didn't see this because it neither offended nor excited me. I also make obvious comment's in real life.

none of that makes any sense. :(

4 comments, registered 9 years ago
#10 @ 9 years ago
by herman-key162 - One-off wonder

slumdog millionaire0 wrote

sheet-bird153 wrote

whatevr? adequate.

There is nothing more offputting than people spouting about items they clearly know nothing about. I didn't see this because it neither offended nor excited me. I also make obvious comment's in real life.

You are spurious. Your contradicting yourself.

1 comment, registered 9 years ago

To add a comment you must first sign up and login.


Capricorn horoscope

Praying to false gods never seemed so good after this week. You may become friends with a self-proclaimed tribal warr......

Full horoscope

More from Laughsend

thumbnail for Celine Dion news story Titanic Wreck Scanned, Celine Dion Weeps With Envy thumbnail for Bush news story George W Bush to Take Over as the New Host of The Price is Right and Finally Find the Weapons of Mass Destruction
Funny RSS feed